Alan “My child, you have much to learn. As the umbra is a reflection of the world, so our world spins and revolves giving us day and night and gravity and so the Umbra turns as well.”

Poledra “But the Umbra can’t reflect things or objects that don’t occupy the same space long enough. Hence, there are no people or cars or animals in the Umbra. If the world turns, then nothing ever occupies the same space. Hence the Umbra can’t exist- it is a paradox.”

Alan “Whoops! We should get a team on that right away! I call a moot!”

Alan “Children, there is a great confusion - yes? What do you want?”

Scotty “Elder, I’ve gotta use the little wolf’s room.”

Alan “Um, sure, hurry up.” Pause “Allright, There is a great confusi-“

Svfenn “Elder, what does confusion mean?”

Alan “It means the non-understanding of something.”

Svfenn “Oh, thank you.”

Alan “May I continue? Thank you. There is a great disturbance in the force. No, that’s not right, let me try again. Ah yes, there is a great confusion about the Umbra. It doesn’t exist.”

Lazerus “What?”

Vincenzie “Somebody stole it?” click “I’ll take care of it!”

Tatsuo “It does! Watch!” pause “See?”

Alan “It’s there, but it doesn’t really exist. It’s a fignuten of your immigration.” Pause “No, that’s not right, it’s an immigration of your fignuten. No, that nots right either. Oh, it’s a figment of your imagination!”

Svfenn “Elder, whats a figment?”

Alan “Figment is a little purple dragon in Epcot Center and copyrighted by Disney. I say that’s a shame, he’d be a wonderful companion on a quest.

Svfenn “Oh.”

Tatsuo “But it’s there, I know it. I can see it, use it! Its very use says that it exists.”

Kerry “But maybe it only exists for you in you own mind. How do you know that it’s there when you are not using it?”

Tatsuo “But it is! I can use it, watch!”

Kerry “No! Prove it, without using it.”

Tatsuo “Well…-“

Kerry “ How do you know it still exists. If you can’t see it, how do you know its even there? In fact, has anyone seen the umbra here? You have to BE in the Umbra to see it. And then it looks the same as the world. So how do you know it isn’t?”

Tatsuo “I don’t believe you. It exists and just where did you come from anyway?”

Lazerus “She is not Garou or kinfolk, she doesn’t belong here!” * poof! * “Good, ancient Wendigo Gift :Dispel intruders has worked.”

Tatsuo “Whimper. But its there, I know it…it has to be!”

Alan “Yawn, lets call it a night.”

Poledra “But we didn’t solve anything. The Umbra is still in limbo, it doesn’t exist! It’s still a paradox!”

Alan “ The Umbra is limbo, it is paradox and we are paradox. One paradox can use another. It exists.

Poledra “But that doesn’t make sense!”

Alan “Child, I’m an elder, you are an upstart. Nothing is supposed to make sense.”

Poledra “Oh”

Alan “Goodnight.”

All “Nite.”

Tatsuo “So this is all Your fault?!”

Vincenzie “She stole the Umbra? Not surprised.”

Poledra “Ummm…Tatsuo, Vincenzie…keep away…guys? No harm done, right? Umbra is still there, you can still use it. Uh guys…leave me alone…”

Vincenzie and Tatsuo “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr……”

Poledra “Shriek!”

Alan “Boys, boys, boys. Kill her quietly, I’m trying to sleep."

Tatsuo and Vincenzie “Yes, Elder.”

Poledra “Help!”

Vincenzie “Shaddup.”

Poledra “Gulp!”